When I think of John I always think of such a wonderfully strong life filled character, and always at his side....... this gorgeous effervescent bubble Virginia.
Dearest Virginia, I know you loved him beyond measure and now he is in heaven surrounded by angels away from cares and woes. How you must miss his huge presence in your life. Virginia I know from my own time with you how your love and warmth and generosity brings out the angel in everyone who is lucky enough to know you. I felt incredibly blessed and have wonderful memories all the fun times we spent together when you lived nearby. Enjoy all the love and warmth from those that have been touched by you; you are indeed a very very special person.
Love Adele
John was my store manager at McDonalds Bondi Junction from 1977 to when I left in 1979. It was a real highlight of my adolescence working at McDs and John created a challenging but safe family feeling. John always had great respect for his young employees and John used promotion and recognition well to reward our efforts. I corresponded with John in 2008 and I regret not making it to Bowral to visit him. iIalways remember my time at McDonalds fondly and John was a significant part of it.
Hello Bron ... thank you for these very kind sentiments; I am touched that you took the time to write of some of your own memories with John. Please know that you are very welcome to visit - I would be happy to show you around here, where John and I spent our last 8 years in absolute contentment. Sincerely, Virginia Adlide
Weep not for me for Death is
but the vehicle that unites my soul
with the Creative Essence, God.
My spiritual Being, my love, is
still with you, wherever you are
until forever.
You will find me in quiet moments
in the trees, amidst the rocks,
the cloud and beams of sunshine
indeed, everywhere for I, too, am
a part of the total essence of
creation that radiates everywhere
about you, eternally.
Life, after all, is just a
passing phase.
------------------
Helen McCue read this poem during the ceremony conducted by Rev. Bob Thomas for burial of my husband’s, John Adlide, ashes in the sunshine on a fresh, cool autumn morning. Liz Nicolls and her daughter, Lucy, also supported me. Family members were unable to attend on this occasion but sent supporting wishes.
9.30am, 14 May 2010, Bowral Cemetery.
Jack tries to show Sammy the flood but as usual he just seems interested in sniffing other dogs'...
Thank you Virginia for your email and the link to this magnificent Tribute Page.
I met John way back when. We were new-chums in the McDonald system and I guess I was drawn to John because of his no BS approach and contempt of Spin. I felt a kindred spirit and his sense of humour appealed to me and which was an important part of his makeup. We became friends and I was privileged to have him as a guest in my home in Melbourne a couple of times. He was fun to be around.
When I left McDonalds and moved to Queensland we kept in touch for a number of years and when I moved again we lost touch, which I very much regret.
John contributed big-time to everything he had an interest in and one could not help but admire his tenacity and pragmatism, his business acumen was on loan to anyone who asked and those of us who took advantage of it are forever thankful. Ronald McDonald house will forever be his legacy to NSW.
To you his family, my heartfelt condolences but be buoyed in your sorrows, his was a life worth celebrating.
May you rest in eternal peace my friend.
Walt ... this is absolutely beautiful to read! I am SO pleased I acted on 'old' unanswered messages by doing email housekeeping!! Thank you, thank you for making the time to write. I will forward this on to the family right now. Warmest wishes, Virginia
I first met John (Jack) when he became a member of 2nd Penshurst Scout troop at the age of about 11. I can remember his willingness to achieve and his remarkable ability to make friends quickly, you allways felt at ease with Jack.
Later a group of us, including Jack, reformed the Rover Scout Crew, which had been dormant for a number of years. This is where I became aware of his never ending wit and pranks, with which he entertained us, especially when we were camping or bushwalking.
I can recall a time, when, returning from a bushwalking weekend in the Blue Mountains, 3 in the front and 5 in the back of Jack's holden ute, while overtaking, he suddenly turn right and stopped, when we asked why his reply was, "there was a car coming wasn't there !" Jack had turned into a side street to avoid an oncoming car which had come round a bend, but that was Jack, never a dull moment.
Of the 10 original Rovers, later increased to 15, 6 of who live in the Highlands,we have now lost 4, called to a better place.
As former Scribe of the Rover Crew, I would like to speak for the remainder,
and say that, "Jack you were a good friend, mate and conpanion to us all, we will miss you."
Barry (Shanks) Parsons
HI there, I dont know his family but Mr Adlide was my first boss at Mcdonalds Bondi Junction and he was such a lovely man, someone I felt happy to know. it wasnt a chore going to work knowing that he was the boss. i am a franchisee at the moment and know that being good to staff and having good people skills are vital. He had them all. As i am jewish, we say " I wish you along life to the family"
from Raveena Marks
Thank you for writing this kind message, Raveena. To think that folk like you, who worked with John all those years ago, remember how he impressed you and want to go to the effort of sharing those memories on this site. Sincerely, Virginia Adlide (m. J.A. January 1990).
by Dr EA (Ted) Freeman, OAM, MB BS, FRCS(E) Tuesday, 23 February 2010 John Adlide died at home on Christmas Eve after a ten months battle with pancreatic cancer. John was a person with a great talent for friendship. His unselfish nature was well known to his friends and his willingness to become involved in any worthwhile and meaningful cause meant he was in demand for ventures which required community action. John often found these through the Rotary Club of Moss Vale where he played a prominent part in its activities. It was impossible to meet John and not be stimulated to thought and action – in fact a person needed to have their “brains brushed” well and truly for every encounter with John. His straight talking and questioning attitude meant that each time John met anyone there would be an incisive exploration of their personal views on a range of subject and given any opportunity John would venture some opposing view. This always led to vigorous discussion and banter but while John had strong views on many subjects he allowed and encouraged others to express their opinions. He was tolerant but could always be relied upon to challenge accepted wisdom. John and I had been educated at Canterbury Boys High School, a selective school which took its pupils from both Cronulla line and the Canterbury area. We often had discussions about our time there although we were in different years. One teacher who stood out was “Slim Jim” our Latin teacher – a small thin wiry man who always dressed in a black suit and who spoke in a thin nasally voice and had a fiercesome reputation amongst his pupils. John identified a collection of old students from the school and enjoyed reminiscing. The school motto, “TRUTH AND HONOUR” were qualities expressed by John fully in his life . John had a passion for Family History research and he and I went to the U3A class run by Daphne Penalver to commence the exciting venture into our respective genetic possessions. Being a business man who had been a McDonald’s franchisee for twenty years he soon had a very organised portfolio of his ancestors and was extremely proud of his heritage and the fact that his surname, which I think came from Germany, was most uncommon and few others possessed it. I remember meeting John in Bowral shopping centre soon after his diagnosis with cancer, He was very matter of fact about the diagnosis. As the months went by and he became increasingly weak I never, at any time, heard him complain. No person could have been more lovingly cared for than Virginia cared for John. Virginia had an open house where all were made very welcome and offered refreshment. John would sit in his electrically controlled chair and his wit would commence to roll. I suggested to him that he should make a written collection of his sayings and I think he slowly began to realise his abilities in this direction were unique. While not a Believer in religious observance, it was fitting that such a man was accorded a funeral at Bowral Uniting Church with a packed congregation from many walks of life and many belief systems. We will miss his sense of humour and his sharp wit and lack of pretence. John is survived by Virginia, his brother Tony, his three adult children, Geoff, Tim and Min, step-son Rory and seven grandchildren.
I worked for John for over 12 years at his Bondi Junction and Eastlakes sites. He was a wonderful boss, a mentor , a friend and was like a second father to me. I shall always remember his kindness, generosity, wit and support. Always in our heart and thoughts.
Thank you, thank you Greg for these lovely comments. It's all too sad. Virginia xx
Peps, i miss you. i wish you where still here. i just came back from camp! and i won a race! i knew you where there with me.
I love you,
xxjessie
ginny-thinking of you today hope you are ok-RIP John
Thank you, Muz. It's nice to hear this. Ginny xx
I remember so much about John Adlide
He was among my first contact with the McDonald’s System
I think he shouted Jean and me the first of many thousands of Macca’s coffees.
After a while he discovered that, through the First Fleeter convict John Nichols, we were distant cousins...very distant at that … and from that point on he always welcomed my family and me as, “Cuz”.
John always joked about living and trading in a Jewish area and did not mind taking the mickey out of himself. He commented about the Jewish fraternity. I thought he was one, and then I thought that if he was one and we were related I must be one also, but that was not the case.
John had many sides to his personality: a great sense of humour - provided you were not the subject of his sharp wit; a hard working guy ... and a power in the McDonald’s licensee community.
I always remember his comment when it came to competitions in the (McDonald’s) system...he said, “I don’t believe in winners and losers, I believe that everybody who tries should be a winner.” And I sure see the logic in that philosophy.
I recall at one of the early overseas conferences in Hong Kong, during the entertaining period John gave a dissertation. He titled it “I’m so lucky”. He had put together so many words to express his good fortune for his life to date, but now to be part of the McDonald’s system when we were one big happy family and all enjoying growth. I felt that John was not only talking about his life but spoke for all of us in the room.
John should get a great deal of the credit for the establishment of the Ronald McDonald Houses. He put in thousand of hours to establish the first House at Camperdown and untold effort to establish the Randwick Ronald McDonald House.
I feel that for that effort he got a just reward ...that is he met Virginia at the Camperdown House. We all know the story from there.
...and I recall John’s and Ginny’s first public appearance at a Surfers Paradise McDonald’s conference..???????
And their 20 years together I know have indeed been happy.
John’s personality and energy influenced many people including me. And I can say well done John. You’re a winner.
The Spinks family.
I first met John when he was my boss at McD's and I was a 17 year old smart arse who thought he knew everything. John was quick to prove otherwise. Over the next 10 years or so I learnt so many lessons from John - not just about business but about being a good, honest and respectful man. Now having a young son, I hope I can impart some of this wisdom. I still find myself using "Johnisms" every day. He was a wonderful mentor and friend who will continue to influence me (and I'm sure many others) for a long, long time to come.
Rè galantuomo
This is lovely, Dave. V xx
The text below formed the basis of the Homily read at John's funeral by Bowral Uniting Church minister Bob Thomas.
-------------------
A Christmas Death
Today is not the easiest of days. One you have loved for so long has died. And died at Christmas time as well, just 5 minutes before Christmas, and it seems unfair for John and for ourselves that we could not share this last Christmas with him. That brings its own set of emotions: sadness, anger, emptiness. Even though no one would have wished for John to linger on, perhaps one could have wished that he waited another day or so.
To this situation I would say three things based upon a Bible reading that comes to our attention at this time of year (read Luke 2:25-35):
John was not a churchgoer, although I’m sure that if John could have a chance to retort he would say, “What do mean? I’ve been dying to come.”
But churchgoer or not, I believe that John, like Simeon, could say: "Lord, now let thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word; for my eyes have seen thy salvation." John would not used those words, of course, but there is, in these words of Simeon, something that speaks of life fulfilled; something that says that the value and meaning of life is not to be found in quantity, but quality; and that quality has something to do with the essence of Christmas, of love, peace and a sense of oneness with creation. The loving and the caring of friends and family were a constant reality. Many of you played an important role in this thing the church calls incarnation: God in human form. For in your relationships with John, you experienced God's love in your giving to John, and receiving from him, loving concern. John Adlide was someone who helped you experience life. You are here because, in one way or another, his life intersected and ran with yours for a time, and it made a difference to you.
And so we celebrate the life of John Adlide, even in the midst of grief, and that brings me to the second thing that comes from our reading of Simeon's speech in the Gospel of Luke: we cannot separate the joy of Christmas from the suffering of the cross. Simeon warned Mary that sorrow would pierce her heart even in the midst of her joy. From the moment we are born, we begin to die. That is the way of life. There is always, in the sweetness of life, a shadow that lurks in the background. Many people try to avoid this shadow, but in the attempt to avoid death, what really happens is that they avoid life. Death and life go together hand-in-hand just as love and grief are inseparable at a time like this. When we love much, we grieve much when it is ended. To risk loving is to open oneself to grief; to risk living is to embrace death. In knowing John, we have been put in touch with life and death, love and grief, and we are the better for it.
And the third thing I would say is that, though we do not know what death is exactly, we do know that, just as death inevitably follows birth, new birth just as inevitably follows death. It is all around us in nature. John saw it innumerable times in his garden; he plant goes to seed and dies, but the seed brings a new plant; the caterpillar dies to give life to a butterfly; the earth goes dry and barren in the Australian summer, only to burst into verdant life when the rains come. That is what the Christian concept of resurrection is all about: the life that persists despite all the little deaths that we experience along the way: failures, loss, shame, grief.
For now we remember a life well-lived, and we give thanks that John was such a person that in loving him and in being loved by him - in knowing him and sharing life with him - our lives have been enriched and given meaning. And we give thanks that the life of John Adlide is now in the palms of God's hands.
These pieces are written by Anthony de Mello and were read in John's "Goodbye Service" by his youngest grandchild Jessie, aged 11.
RECOGNITION
As the Master grew old and infirm the disciples begged him not to die. Said the Master, "If I did not go, how would you ever see?"
"What is it we fail to see when you are with us?" they asked.
But the Master would not say.
When the moment of his death was near they said, "What is it we will see when you are gone?"
With a twinkle in his eye, the Master said, "All I did was sit on the river bank handing out river water. After I am gone I trust you will notice the river."
HEAVEN
To a disciple who was obsessed with the thought of life after death, the Master said, "Why waste a single moment thinking of the hereafter?"
"But is it possible not to?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"By living in heaven here and now."
"And where is this heaven?"
"Is the here and now."
Credit to the Anthony de Mello pieces above "Recognition" and "Heaven" is to: ONE MINUTE WISDOM 3rd ed, (c) 1985 Anthony de Mello S.J. Published by X. Diaz del Rio S.J., GUJARAT SAHITYA PRAKASH, ANAND (Gujarat, 388 001, India)
Rory's eulogy - JOHN ADLIDE
Can I extend Geoff's words of thanks to include a special mention of Barry and Ruth Roberts and the team of volunteers from Bob's flock who have prepared the hall and today's lunch.
To Ron and Pat Mansfield who are with our gorgeous golden retriever Sammy, down the front here.
To Reverend Bob Thomas who is also producing a video recording of proceedings. On behalf of John's family and especially those who have not been able to travel here today, this will prove invaluable.
And to Pastor Dom Fiocco who is escorting my big brother Andy up from Canberra today.
There have been, of course, many more incredible friends from the Southern Highlands community, Sydney, and much further afield who contributed in every way imaginable to support Mum and make John's final year: amazing.
Living with my mother Virginia in the late 80s was when I first met John, who I call Jack.
He had joined the board of Australia's first Ronald McDonald House as their only franchisee representative.
Being the sensible businessman he was, Jack poached the manager for his own business.
Being the sensible divorcee he was, Jack proposed to her.
But she came with baggage ... a 16 year old HSC student, pre-trained in flipping McBurgers and pouring McShakes.
Being the sensible businessman he was, Jack poached the crew person, yours truly, for the McFamily business in Bondi Junction.
He didn't propose to me. (!)
It appears Jack had strategic foresight in finding a trained nurse as his spouse, one who was able to provide the best care all the way.
For the time I've known him, John's been active in all sorts of community projects including
- Salvation Army's Red Shield Appeal
- Ronald McDonald Houses, where John was instrumental in the establishment and growth of the programme in Australia
- Rotary's bowel cancer screening programme
- the local climate change action group "Canwin"
- and much behind-the-scenes support of Mum's own community activities.
None of it for kudos. None were hobbies.
Indeed, his enthusiasm for, and genuine belief in deserving causes & important issues reflected his entirely selfless and generous nature.
Jack's contribution through hard work and management talents will be sorely missed but never forgotten.
Gaining a stepfather in my case entailed acquiring three step-siblings. They were independent adults who until this past year I had only occasional contact with. But I always knew them, possibly in some ways more than they did each other, through Jack. Dearly loving of them, he was also immensely proud, and always spoke of them as inspirational examples in their fields.
Jack's faith in their talents and abilities was also often reflected in the way he spoke of others:
- Dan was not simply a TV producer, he was The Producer.
- Wendy was not just a great tennis player, she was Champ.
He wasn't simply talking them up, certainly wasn't patronising; Jack really believed in people's potential.
If any of you have popped into 8 Shepherd Street in the last year, chances are Mum would have taken your photo with Jack. Each "smile" was followed with a comment from Jack that the photo was for [ominous organ music] "The Powerpoint".
Sorry Jack but we saved everyone the pain and stuck with just the one photo of yourself today.
The other night I shared a little joke with Jack; you may have heard it:
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa Claus stopped after 3 "HO’s".
Corny. A real Dad Joke. The sort of humour you all know Jack loved. Eyes closed, a small smile appeared.
He packed that one away to use on the other side, I'm sure. He died a few hours later.
John was far more than just a boss to a lot of us. I always felt that he cared for the health, welfare and future of everyone that worked for him.
Thank you, Michael. It is lovely to read from people like you who worked with us ... and to know John has left something good in your memory of him. Virginia xx
Thanks to each and everyone of you here today.
Over the journey of the past several months I have come to meet many of you and heard about so many more. Dad’s many friends in this amazing local community. Your comradeship, support and generosity have all helped to ease the grief and torment that accompanies this awful disease. And it helped to strengthen Dad and Virginia’s will and spirit.
For me, my brother, Tim and sister, Min – each of us living much further away from Bowral than we would choose for moments like these – we were especially grateful knowing not only that he was in Virginia’s loving care but also that behind her stood an army of friends - a strong committed community of caring individuals.
For the many gifts and the moments of companionship and joy that you brought into our father’s life, we thank you profoundly.
And a particular thanks to the incredible band of nurses and doctors who cared for Dad and made his last months so much more comfortable. Dad didn’t believe in angels, until he met you.
But my main role here is to thank another. To speak on behalf of Tim & Min, our mother, Bev, their grandchildren, Thomas, Charlotte, Alice, Sam, Hannah, Ellen & Jessie, his brother, Tony and our extended family.
It’s to say thanks to you Dad.
To say thanks to you Peps.
First, thank you for the opportunity to feel the life-long love of a father. Something you were denied when your own father died when you were just 21 years old.
You worked hard for the family, for us. A very early memory when we lived at Dee Why – I was perhaps 6 or 7 years old – is of you studying at night. It was a business management course. My sense was that you felt responsible for the future of your very young family. You knew this would be challenging and you felt the responsibility to secure the foundations. To do that extra bit to provide for us.
This strong sense of responsibility and care for others you extended to your community. Service with Apex, Rotary, engagement with Salvation Army, Ronald McDonald house and many others.
You even put the bins out each Tuesday night here at the Bowral Uniting Church – the community service commitment of a confirmed aetheist.
Thanks for the sense of humour and the jokes. Over these past months for my girls, Dad’s capacity to tell jokes was the barometer of his health. ‘How’s peps going? Is he still telling bad jokes?’ Even in those last few days when words defied him, the comic opening of an eye, or flick of a finger showed this sense of humour was there to the end. In my family we know the source of the bad joke gene. In Tim’s family they were the ‘lame’ jokes. It’s your legacy Dad. Thanks for the bad joke gene.
To see one’s own death approaching from several months out is perhaps a mixed blessing but for Dad and us it did present some privileged opportunities.
It meant we were able to come and hang out together- at first even go on small excursions. Towards the end just to hang out by the armchair and later the bed. It meant your brother Tony would come down each Tuesday, to spend time with you and hang out in your company.
Thanks for that opportunity Dad.
You used the opportunity of knowing the end was approaching, to focus on what mattered to you. It told us a lot about who you were and what you valued.
Primary amongst your concerns was Virginia. There were more than a few times over recent months when Dad’s concern for her health and well-being far out-ranked his own pain and considerations of his own condition. What he wanted was for it be easier for Ginny. For her burden to be eased.
So what else did Dad prioritise these past months? His strong interest in family and personal history came to the fore. There are barely a handful living Adlide’s on the planet – now one less - and he wanted us all to appreciate where we’d come from; who were our forebears and how we ended up with this strange unpronouncable name.
It meant so much to Dad that the family genealogy was completed last month. Maxine, thank you.
It was with great satisfaction that he was able to give us the products of his research in two bound volumes – one for each of the Adlide and Gartner side.
Dad also preserved some of his own memories and anecdotes in a series of autobiographical sketches that he left for us. And over the past few months we were able to help him type up a few stories, tidy them up and bring them to a form that his grandchildren and perhaps great grandchildren can cherish.
There was one that he hadn’t yet typed up. He hesitated because he told me he thought it was ‘big-noting himself’, ‘blowing his own trumpet’. It was simply titled ‘service’ and it recounted a theme that ran through much of his life, starting perhaps with the boy scouts and including his membership of Apex and Rotary clubs and his commitment and service to local charities. And in each of these endeavours he threw himself in with energy and dedication.
Just going through the motions wasn’t appealing to Dad. He didn’t do pretence well. He wanted to see a result and if he could contribute, he would.
Dad, thanks for modelling for us that sense of civic responsibility.
And thanks too for the critical eye and intolerance of bullshit. The party line, the accepted orthodoxy, was always open to question.
You and I had the chance to reflect a little on this in some of those quiet personal moments that we have had in recent months. Moments I will forever cherish.
I recall, and want to share now, your comment on accepting difference and embracing humanity in all its forms.
You thought that it came from your own mother and father and family environment. You said that perhaps it was the dark skin of your adopted uncle or the close gay friends of your mum, Nana Doll. It was all normal, as it should be. That’s why you couldn’t stand those ugly traits of racism and homophobia. Black, white, straight, gay – it is humanity that counts. It is the person that counts.
For raising us all with those values Dad. Thank you.
Your life was cut short by a horrid disease. But paradoxically, the prognosis of a life to be counted in months brought a focus to this past year and brought your children together. Together with you to share, to reflect and learn and just to hang out.
For all of it Dad, a big thank you.
We will miss you.
Even the bad jokes will be missed.
From all of us gathered here today to remember you, thanks for touching our lives.
As your immediate family, we have had this incredible time together and that has been an exceptional opportunity for which we can truly say ‘thank you’.
We must have been very young when we first got together Jack - probably we were still in nappies. I was very much at a loose end when you started school before me. One hot summers day I wandered down to South Hurstville School looking for you but unbeknowns to me I was sitting outside the primary school not the infants school.
We had some great times together training down at Kyle Bay for the school swimming carnival, going fishing on the Georges River with your father, scouting and rovering together.
I'll miss you old mate.
Dizzy
Wasn't I the lucky one working with Jack and compiling his family history. I was so thankful for him to allow me into his life anthe history of his ancestors.
We had fun and arguments (what else with Jack!) and I know I will miss him deeply.
Maxine
John, such an amazingly generous and kind man.
You opened your heart, house and life to my family: a loving step-father to Rory; a friend to myself and Jude and Siobhan, we have many fond memories of you, especially when my children were younger; and to Andy who absolutely adores you, you were a rock of strength, friendship and understanding, that was totally awesome, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Rest peacefully John.
Virginia Adlide
14 years agoHow lovely to hear from you, darling Adele! Let me know your address so that I can send you our favourite photo - it was taken last year:) It was a privilege to nurse the one I love at home until he passed - a life-enhancing experience. I am the fortunate one to have been so loved. I miss him incredibly, but feel him around me all of the time. Love, Virginia xx